Tuesday, July 10, 2007

I really hate clowns

Our home is going through a semi-major remodel. By “semi-major,” I mean that we’re not tearing down or “popping out” walls or adding rooms, but every room in the house is being touched in one way or another, a couple getting full overhauls. The whole job, we’re told, will take 3-4 months. We’re just a month into the process. And we’re trying to live here somewhat comfortably (with one oversized dog) while all the remodeling is going on. Crazy times.

So here’s what’s been happening: Debbie and I are frantically working ahead of the contractors, cleaning out rooms, packing stuff up for sale or charity, and shuffling furniture about. And we’ve come across some interesting items that I didn’t even know I had.

Yesterday afternoon, Deb opened a box and found two paintings of clowns that hung on my bedroom wall, oh, 45 years ago, when I was a widdle kid.

Clowns scare the shit outta me. Always have. A dear friend of mine unthinkingly hired a clown named Kerplunk for my 40th birthday a few years back. It took them an hour to tear me off the wall, drunk as I was.

I wish I could reproduce those paintings here, but the damn things don’t fit on my scanner. So I’ve done the next best thing — found a couple of freakin’ clown paintings online that I feel are approximately as hideous and terrifying as the clowns we discovered in that box yesterday.

Stop laughing, you sadistic bastards. This isn’t funny.

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6 Comments:

At 6:03 PM, Blogger Warren Bluhm said...

Ah, nothing to be ashamed of, you're in good company. I still love that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark when Indy stares at the camera and says, "Clowns. Why did it have to be clowns?"

 
At 10:45 AM, Anonymous fish said...

Warren,

You don't know me but I'm going to steal that line!

"....why'd it have to be clowns!"

 
At 9:35 AM, Anonymous Tom G. said...

Wally, I take it then that you haven't seen Killer Klowns from Outer Space ?
(Bonus, it co-stars John Vernon - the dean from Animal House)

 
At 10:33 AM, Anonymous Roderick T. Long said...

Ah, but aren't you forgetting this poignant fact?

 
At 9:17 PM, Blogger Anton Sherwood said...

So why did you have them on your wall in the first place?

 
At 7:49 AM, Blogger Wally Conger said...

Anton,

As I believe I explained, I was a little kid, maybe 3-4 years old, when the clown pictures were on my bedroom wall. My parents ruled.

Wally

 

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