Monday, June 30, 2008

If the jackboot fits...

"I'd rather take my chances with criminals than with the police. For one thing, criminals usually want your property, not control over your life."

So begins a post by Wendy McElroy this morning. Terrific stuff.

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At 8:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How timely.

Late last night I took a break from some web work I was doing and decided to go out for dinner. I was planning a simple trip through a drive-thru, but because July 1st was a few minutes away with a new "hands free" law taking effect, I left my old illegal cell phone behind.

Looking at my "land yacht" Crown Vic, I decided to forego paying Southern California gas prices. (Where's the $20/barrel we were promised by Fox News for bombing Iraq?).

So instead I walked down the hill to buy groceries from the late night shopping center--without my cell phone. Guess what happened next.

On the way back up the hill, I'm toting my items and listening to my iPod when three black male youths approached from the other direction. They were likely teenagers or perhaps early twenties, but it was hard to tell in the low light.

They proceeded to punch me and say things like "What you got there?" "Give us everything or we'll kill you!" and "I've got a gun."

Like others who have had similar encounters recently, I gladly chose to die rather than even consider giving those punks my iPod, not to mention my wallet which would just lead them to my home.

So I started yelling, tried running, and succeeded in crawling out into the middle of the street. Turns out none of them had a gun, a knife, or anything except numerical superiority, being less than half my age, and in better shape. Maybe a pirate's life isn't as carefree as the movies say.

The thugs gave up on me despite getting nothing. Then they attacked another guy who was was walking down the hill from behind them, and I hailed a passing civilian car (notice the lack of cops? and thanks for making me leave my phone behind you fucking pigs) and pointed at the new assault in progress. The thugs took notice of the attention and left the other guy alone. They got in a car and left. Couldn't see the plate.

They could afford gas? By rights, I should've robbed them.

So let's recap this incident. Cops not only disarmed the honest citizens with concealed weapons restrictions, but made only new-fangled BS "hands-free" cell phones legal.

So nobody was even able to call 911 during the attacks and I sure as Hell didn't want to deal with cops after muggers I couldn't describe clearly drove off in a small otherwise nondescript car with an unreadable plate.

Also, I won't be walking to that local shopping center in the future. Kiss those sales taxes goodbye, government a-holes. California can't fall into the ocean soon enough. Oh yeah, and you "thin blue line" idiots? Just let me carry a gun and piss off.

At 1:43 AM, Blogger Pam Maltzman said...

Eh, Kent, I'm glad you're okay after the attack.

Almost 30 years ago, I got mugged by two black guys in downtown L.A., walking to the bus after working a second job (because the car had been hit by another black guy, and I was trying to get the money together to have the car fixed).

They asked me how much money I had... said they would kill me if I didn't have enough money. Then they said they didn't care if they killed me because I'm white.

Scared the hell out of me. This was before I'd even heard of a cell phone.

I reported the incident to the cops, but of course nothing was done.

Anyway, glad you're still among the living. I agree with you about California, and I can't wait to accumulate enough money to leave here in a couple of years.

At 9:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kent--Very happy to hear you weren't seriously injured by your encounter with the freelance tax collectors. I remember Sam's encounter with the business end of a knife in Long Beach a couple of decades ago. I still have his blood-drenched jacket as one of the seven Holy Relics of the Church of Konkin. You gotta get a gun, bro. Don't you know that the Supreme Court has finally blessed the 2nd Amendment after 227 years of ambiguity? "Keep and Bear" means "Own and Carry.

At 5:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

From yer last statement at the end of the eighth paragraph I take it ye view yerself as a pirate.

Kent, me lad, it does me heart good to see yer o.k., and ye showed more spunk than I could 'a' mustered, but I feel the need to make a few points:

1) According to this here website, the law yer complainin' about only applies to drivers. Yer cell phone became legal the moment ye decided to become a pedestrian.

2) That same website also points out that the law don't apply if it be an emergency. So unless ye just can't keep yerself from gabbin' if the phone be in the car, ye should take it along in case of rough weather and just not use it otherwise.

3) There's them that use the phrase "better judged by twelve than carried by six" to justify breakin' FIREARMS laws, and yer lettin' yerself be threatened out of carryin' a CELL PHONE? Arrrghh!

Fair winds and following seas to ye, lad.

At 7:53 PM, Blogger Col. Cantrell said...

Kent, I only know you from Neil. Glad you are ok. Fuck the laws, carry as the Constitution declares. In 85 I lived in PA and my apprentice got mugged in the Pitt. Hell boy, when we went back in the 50 Chevy and got out it was old west and guns blazin'. We carried black powder cap and ball, legal there back in the day. But more than one of them gang bangin assholes fell screamin like little girls.

The cops don't go to that section of Pittsburg, dang, bet them gangbangers wished they had cops that night!!!!!

Glad to hear yer alright.

At 7:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad yer ok. I only know of you thru Neil. Don't let the Constitution die brother... 1st and 2nd Amendment Rights are so important..


At 10:59 PM, Blogger permakent said...

Just saw a funny tagline:

"Remember, when seconds count. . .
the police are just MINUTES away!"


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