NEWS FLASH! Hell has frozen over!

J. Neil Schulman has called on President Bush to bring the troops home from Iraq and for the U.S. to mind its own business:

The presence of Infidels in the Middle East is what drives Islamic terrorism. We Infidels are still there because of remnants of a Great Game for domination of the Middle East that stopped making strategic sense when the British Empire collapsed, when the Cold War ended, and when Japan, China, and Russia became trading partners of America and Europe.

We don't need Middle Eastern oil. American energy independence is ours any time we decide to take it. Short-term we can pump and refine all we need from our own supplies in Utah and Colorado, and long-term we can switch to alternatives — everything from bio-diesel to solar-power satellites and — one of these days — Mr. Fusion machines.

We don't need to defend Israel from Syria or Iran. All we have to do is let the Sunni and Shia get back to killing each other instead of us — let al Qaeda fight Hezbollah.

Mr. Bush, you're the President who Won the War on Terror. Please brings our troops home from Iraq and declare a domestic State of Emergency that suspends the numerous federal, state, and local impediments to domestic oil and coal production and refinement.

We don't have to stop the Iraqi Insurgency for our own security, or for Israel's. We can accomplish that merely by doing what Americans do best: minding our own business.

Mr. Bush: Make Oil, Not War.