Thursday, December 01, 2005

I "fix" KING KONG

If there’s anything I’m sure of, it’s that Peter Jackson’s upcoming remake of King Kong will be absolutely faithful to the original. My “dream remake” of Kong would slightly differ from the 1933 version, refashioning the story’s end to be less Old Yeller and more, well...

Wally’s New Ending to King Kong

Kong stands atop the Empire State Building with Ann Darrow in hand. The planes begin to gather. Kong roars. Ann screams. But what’s causing her screams? Kong? The menacing planes? Neither. It’s what Ann spots over Kong’s shoulder: emerging slowly, drippingly, horrifyingly from the harbor is.....GODZILLA!

Godzilla stands hundreds of feet tall in the harbor. He smashes the Statue of Liberty with one powerful swipe of his tail, then sets Lady Liberty aflame with his breath.

Kong takes quick action. Gently lowering Ann to safety, he clambers down the Empire State Building and makes his way toward Battery Park to do battle with the real threat to Manhattan.

I won’t go into further detail here — just imagine 1962’s Japanese blockbuster King Kong vs. Godzilla, but minus the pagodas. At the movie’s end, a victorious Kong, cheered on by grateful New Yorkers, begins swimming home to Skull Island with Ann Darrow clinging to his massive back, where they’ll build an exciting new life together.

The End

Who doesn’t love a happy ending? I get chills just thinking about my version of King Kong. Anyone interesting in financing the filming of this alternate ending, which I see debuting on the DVD of Jackson’s Kong next spring, please contact me ASAP. Time is money.

3 Comments:

At 5:11 PM, Anonymous Ed Ritchie said...

That's absolutely absurd Wally. What makes you think New Yorkers would show gratitude? Aren't most of them lawyers? No doubt there would be one giant class action suit, bringing Kong to his knees faster than a kick to his coconuts from his new girlfriend.

 
At 2:27 PM, Anonymous Roderick T. Long said...

> Anyone interesting in financing
> the filming of this alternate
> ending, which I see debuting on
> the DVD of Jackson’s Kong next
> spring, please contact me ASAP.

Actually, Jackson has already filmed precisely this ending. See details here.

 
At 2:44 PM, Blogger B.W. Richardson said...

I've tried for 24 hours to improve on your scenario (most of my ideas added Rodan, Mothra and Ghidrah), but I can't match yours for sheer brilliance. It's too bad it's probably too late to pull the film from release to remake the ending. Just imagine Jack Black saying "Twas beauty killed the beast" over Godzilla's body with Kong pounding his chest in the background!

 

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